What size urn do I need for my dog or cat?

Your beloved pet has passed away and you would like a keepsake ashes, but what size urn do I need? With a keepsake ashes, you can create a nice place to remember your pet. Thus, it is possible to create a memorial with, for example, the collar, a tuft of hair, the favorite toy or a photo and burn a candle with it. But it is also possible to have your pet cremated. After cremation, you are left with ashes that you can scatter, bury or keep in a pet ashes urn. In doing so, you can choose one to hold the entire amount of ashes or a smaller portion.

What size urn do I need for my dog or cat?

A common question is: what size urn do I need? Or how big should the pet ashes urn be? How big the ashes urn for your beloved pet should be depends largely on the weight of your pet for cremation.

The table below shows the contents required for your pet’s ashes urn. Note that the table is about averages. The crematorium can tell exactly how many ashes are involved.

A fitting pet ashes urn

Choosing an appropriate urn can be very difficult. Above all, take time to consider which urn is appropriate for your beloved pet and, of course, your home decor. Should you not be able to choose right away, you can always take the ashes with you in a standard ash container from the crematorium. Later, the ashes can then be placed in your chosen pet ashes urn.

All of Lalief’s urns are handmade and therefore may vary slightly in shape and color. The urns pass through my hands several times, this makes each one unique. All urns are suitable for indoor use. Feel free to look around at Lalief’s pet ashes urns . If you have any questions or advice, you are always welcome to send an email, app or take a look at my Etsy page. I will be happy to help you.

How do you tell your child about his or her deceased sister or brother?

A deceased sister or brother, how do you tell your child? When my son was two, he became aware of having a sibling. All his friends at the nursery already had a sibling (or both) or were becoming big siblings. He wanted that, too. At every stroller he saw, he would point with his little hand and say, “Look mommy, a baby. I then replied, “Yes Mans, sweet huh? Yes, he then replied and walked on again cheerfully. At some point he stopped being sweet huh?

Then I decided to tell Mans about his deceased sister and brother. I grabbed Madelon and Oscar’s photo books and took Mans on my lap. Look, I said. This is Madelon and this is Oscar. Those are your big sister and big brother. Mans called the names and looked at the pictures with admiration. Grabbed the cover of Oscar’s book with his small hand and flipped through it. With each picture, he pointed to Oscar and said, Oscar! He repeated this as many as three times. Then he picked up Madelon’s book, and in the same way he flipped through her picture book.

I told him that Madelon and Oscar were dead. That they were in heaven. In doing so, I pointed to the sky. Because it was dark you could see some of the stars. Mans pointed to the stars and said, are they there? Yes I said. Madelon and Oscar are stars in heaven and now they are waving at you. They cannot play with you because they are no longer alive. To clarify what “dead” was, I said: as in Frog and the little bird. That one is also dead, Mans said. That one doesn’t do it anymore. That one is in the ground. Yes I said. That’s right. But Madelon and Oscar are not in the ground. Those are in heaven, Mans replied.

I smiled and told him that the little bird was also in heaven. And that Madelon and Oscar were at our house. I took him to the urns and said, this is where they are. Mans replied: not in the ground but at home? Yes, I said. Home. Then they are always with us. And that’s why Mom never lets you touch these lights. Because if they break… Mans looked at the urns and said, Bye Oscar and Madelon. I’m Mans.

Until my son started talking about siblings by himself, I never told him about his big sister and brother. I received the “advice” from several people around me to “not burden” Mans with our grief and tell him about his deceased sister and brother. It would damage him. He would feel that he was only born because Madelon and Oscar were dead…..

Well-meaning advice, but which I couldn’t do anything with. But what did make me wonder.
How could I shield my grief and love for my other children from him? What was I to answer when he would ask about those “jars of candles”? Would I really damage him if I told him he had an older sister and brother? Would he really believe it that he was born only because Madelon and Oscar had died?

Why these opinions? Where does it show that it would damage Mans? Death is something that comes with life. And yes unfortunately very young people are dying. Madelon and Oscar are part of our family. They are our children and they don’t deserve to be talked to death as well.

Death and butterflies

Butterfly symbol, the butterfly as a sign of comfort and strength.
The butterfly is a creature that has always fascinated us humans throughout the ages. In all types of philosophies, the butterfly symbolizes matters of life and death. Many people who have lost a loved one therefore find comfort in the sight of a butterfly. And that doesn’t always have to have a religious background. Because just the beautiful colors of a butterfly’s wings, can cause your thoughts to be distracted for a moment. And allow you to dwell on the moment itself.

The butterfly as a symbol in ancient times.

No matter how far back in time the stories go, in all past civilizations the butterfly is an animal that is mentioned. This is true of the lore of the Aztecs, the Egyptians, and of Eastern civilizations such as from China and Japan. For each population, the butterfly had a different meaning. Among the ancient Greeks, the butterfly was a symbol of the soul. Among the Egyptians, a butterfly symbolized happiness. And among a North American Indian tribe, a butterfly symbolizes fertility. In most civilizations, throughout the ages, the butterfly is a symbol of immortality, and rebirth. It is also a symbol for the representative of the soul of a deceased person.

Loss of a child and the birth of the Isabel Foundation

About the loss of a child and the creation of the Isabel Foundation. On Friday, October 25, 2019, my dream came true: I became a mother to a beautiful daughter Isabel, not knowing that 7 weeks later she would pass away in my arms. Isabel was a sweet and quiet baby and loved endless cuddling. She slept a lot and did not cry, occasionally opening her beautiful big eyes to look out into the world in wonder. I was shining non-stop with pride and love, I had brought a child into the world and also the very sweetest most beautiful girl!

It soon became clear that Isabel was having trouble breathing and drinking her formula, we were told not to worry. Apparently more babies have trouble with this in the first few days. A week later, as I was snuggling with Isabel, the pediatrician and a nurse told us that an ambulance was being prepared to take us to the Wilhelmina Children’s Hospital. A shock… tears. All kinds of things flashed through my mind…. What does this mean? What is going to happen? Surely we didn’t need to worry? We were still at the hospital in the first place, weren’t we, for me, not for Isabel? And now I had to go and call Ludo, who had just gotten home with my stepson, to tell him we were going to the Wilhelmina Children’s Hospital in Utrecht. I heard the shock in his voice. The helplessness, uncertainty and fear.

The hospital

Stunned, we arrived at the Wilhelmina Children’s Hospital in Utrecht. In the days and weeks following our arrival at Wilhelmina Children’s Hospital, different doctors stood around Isabel’s cot every day, each with his own specialty. The doctors had no idea what was wrong with our girl and pulled out all the stops. Liters of blood (to my mind) were drawn and various tests were started: brain scans, lung ultrasounds, heart scans, MRI scan, a WES study. We watched helplessly.

Results

After four grueling weeks of little sleep, fear and uncertainty, a life spent at the Wilhelmina Children’s Hospital and the Ronald Mc Donald House was brought to an end. We were overwhelmed with the heartbreaking news that Isabel was found to have a rare disorder (70 in 8 billion?! Yes, how so??) that explained her problems. It soon became clear that the doctors could do nothing for her and us. There was no future for Isabel. Another shock, and lots of tears. Our world collapsed and changed forever. We were up. Hope had kept us going all this time; now that hope had been wiped out by a few words. We wanted to go home… with Isabel. A few days later, we left the Wilhelmina Children’s Hospital with Isabel. In the elevator I heard people saying to each other, “look what a beautiful girl and nice that she is going home” Yes, she was allowed to go home… to die.

Living after the loss of a child

After Isabel’s passing, we were showered with flowers, cards, (well-intentioned) advice (which sometimes infuriated me) and indescribably valuable memories. It did me good and I was happy to see that her short life had not passed quietly. It was confronting to see that for others life just goes on. With great regularity I was crying in the car because I had seen a pregnant woman or a newborn baby. It made me jealous and angry. To my mind, everyone got pregnant and had (thankfully!) healthy children. I am a mother too…but stood empty handed. The people around me understand that I like it when Isabel’s name is mentioned and there is attention for her. Just because my child is no longer alive does not mean she is not a part of my life. To me, she is always part of it. Therefore, I am disappointed when someone does not mention her name or her name is not on a calendar.

Because we don’t forget

Soon after the loss of a child, it became clear to me that I am not the only parent who feels disappointment when the name is not mentioned after the loss of a child, is not on the calendar, or when the grief and loss, but especially the infinite love and pride, is no longer dwelt upon. Every year there will be extra difficult days…. Her birthday and death, Mother’s Day, my birthday and all the holidays… All days when the loss will be extra present for me. Every year… will anyone dwell on that? The idea for the Isabel Foundation was born when I realized that there are many parents with me who also miss their children.

Isabel Foundation continues to dwell on the loss of a child

Isabel Foundation continues to dwell on parent with the loss of a child. Not only on the day of birth or death of the child, but also for example on Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and the holidays, we hope every year to be able to provide a ray of hope and put a smile on the faces of the parents by sending an appropriate gift and personal message! A butterfly, flowers, candles for the dark holidays, the most beautiful star, cakes to celebrate the anniversary, as well as balloons, a poem or a power pouch on the day of death.

With the foundation, I try to do something nice for other parents who also have to miss a child and it is also a way for me to weave Isabel into my daily life. Would you like to read more about Isabel? Want to sign up or donate? Then take a look at www.stichtingisabel.nl or our facebook and/or instagram page.

Loss of a child and the creation of the Isabel Foundation was written by: Carmen van Mossel. Lalief has lovingly and joyfully created dry flower holders for the foundation that will hopefully provide a small ray of hope to parents.

Loss of a dog

You already know when you buy a doggie, there comes a time when you have to say goodbye to your four-legged friend. The loss of a dog is often very hard, although there is sometimes some misunderstanding about this. A doggie is not just a pet, but an important part of your family. I like to share my story.

Our bulldog

Our sweet French bulldog was just under 10 years old when she started having epileptic seizures. After a lot of medication and tests, she was found to have a brain tumor. The medication kept the seizures under control but it was sad to see her like this. She was no longer the happy dog we once knew. She could barely cross the street, walking was out of the question and she laid down to drink water. The animal was finished, we could only watch helplessly and so decided to put her to sleep.

Guilt

When you have to put your buddy to sleep, logically a sense of guilt also comes up. “Did we make the right choice?”, “Did we give her enough attention?”, … 1000 questions that haunted my mind and caused that immense guilt. Of course, I know full well that we made an informed decision and that we took good care of her and gave her lots of love, but couldn’t we have done better?